I am a black sheep
I am a self-aware black sheep
Why this overused symbolistic analogy?
Let me share
Sheeps are shorn for their wool
It is soft to the touch, we love to feel,
It is straightened, chemically, used to make clothing
My gray/black natural hair is soft and full
Please don’t touch, I just got the style right
Straighten, when I was younger,
so I could look acceptable in public
Chemically straighten to be presentable
Chemically straighten to be more manageable
Can you imagine walking around in an
Untreated wool shirt or pants?
Would love an untreated, natural wool coat
On the runway in Paris, it would be acceptable
Big, thick in its natural glory
The transition of my hair
Like shedding of a mask
This wasn’t me
Unwanted beauty thrust upon me
A frilly dress for a tomboy
Hair a mother can curl easily
All I want is a ponytail
Tshirt, jeans, plaid shirt and Converse
Sundays are for curls and dresses
Little black girls always have to be
Freshly pressed, from hair to socks
My blackness is what you see
It is what you 1st see, right
Before you know my name, hear my voice
Even before you can smell me
I smell great, tonight it’s lemongrass
You see my blackness
It is part of my identity
My main identifier in a predominantly white class
1996, trade school, culinary class
Yearbook pic is quite funny
White chef uniforms, my black face standing out
You can point out a black sheep amongst the herd
Their color, a negative space in a field of green and white
Almost a curious oddity
I was a curious oddity
My Nature was nurtured for
Someone else’s approval
Didn’t want to go the same route
Completely boring to me
Confrontation is not my bag
Did what I was told
People didn’t even have to ask
Didn’t want the hassle
I expand my mind with comic books
Love to read, love to write
Proud geek, nerd
Unconventional Blerd
Procrastination is a favorite past time
I’ll get back to that statement, in a minute
I rather talk about my allergy to lemon
All teas taste great with lime
Didn’t know a lot about myself until
Self-exploration, please not that kind
I’m quite a prudent person
Invisible pearl clutcher
Did I mention about the time
I had to explain my natural hair
During a staff meeting?
All white, deja vu foresight seeing
It was needed, because the question was asked
‘What’s going on with your hair’
The caucasity was in full effect
I can be quite blunt
Explanations come naturally to me
Always have to explain my actions
To people who don’t bother to Learn
anything on their own
Untrained teacher to the unconcerned
This on my forehead?
Birthmark, simple
Ask me about the marks you don’t see
The ones that are afflicted upon me
By rude remarks
“You talk white”
How am I supposed to react
Without anger, just a chuckle or laugh
Don’t want to perpetuate angry black woman
The anger is there, how can it not be
But I bury it down, unleashed wrongly
How should I respond
Maybe with a Baa, baa - sheep sound the same
black or white, go along with the herd
Afraid of wrong repercussions
Sights and sounds are different
Do black sheep sound different than the white?
Are they supposed to?
Do they need to sound different so the farmers aren’t confused?
My iPod is the soundtrack to my life
Angry white boy music, comment from a friend
A little Stevie Wonder and Nina Simone
My name is Peaches, on a good day
My thoughts are scattered
Afraid to share most of them
There are a lot
Mental illness, some days can’t think straight
Smile and grin, play along
Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine
Being my black is tough sometimes
When I explain this, some get nervous
I really need you to know
Raise to not notice differences
Surround by things that remind me
Every day that I am black
Pride before a fall
I LOVE being black
Nurtured to ignore the ignorance
As I get older, the noise gets louder
How can this be ignored
I am self-aware
Isaac Asimov is a favorite author
I can sympathize with Sonny
I can go on, there is more
But, can we save it for another day?
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